Closing Chapters, Opening New Ones [Eating Disorder Recovery and Transitions]

Hello beautiful beings,

In my last newsletter, I shared that I moved homes and closed a significant chapter in my life. Making that choice took a very long time.

Endings rarely happen all at once. Unless they’re suddenly forced on us, they unfold slowly and often messily.

For months, even years, we might ignore that whisper of truth that something needs to end. We distract ourselves with other things, rationalize reasons to keep the status quo as is, or pretend all is okay. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom—burnout, illness, or overwhelm—before we finally accept and allow change.

Yet, how we meet endings shapes how we begin again. I once heard one of my teachers say, “How we ride the wave impacts how we land on the shore.”

Grief, uncertainty, and fear always travel with endings. Over the years, I've learnt that how I surf these rough and wild terrains will influence how the next, new chapter begins (it has not been perfect, but I keep practicing!). Luckily, we can learn skills to move with and through these waves.

For me, practicing how to meet endings with grace shows up not only in the big upheavals and “lifequakes” but also in everyday recovery:

• Instead of restricting food to delay the end of a meal, I practice feeling the sadness that arises.

• Instead of compulsive exercise to outrun the unknown, I practice listening to the fear beneath the pause.

• Instead of punishing my body go back to a smaller shape, I practice welcoming the expansion that comes when life hands me a blank slate, full of possibility.

Every small ending, from finishing a meal, to choosing to rest, to letting go of an old critical thought about your body, is practice for opening into what’s next. Endings, no matter how small, are doorways to awakening, woven into the fabric of reality.

Here are some questions to ponder:

• How do you relate to endings?

• How do you know when enough is enough?

• Do you believe there is enough for each of us?

• What keeps us from remembering our inherent enoughness?