presenting: the opening lines of our minds - for one night only!
I don’t know if I would want to be in your head. I know for sure that I wouldn’t you to be in mine. If you had to hear that things I tell myself, I have a feeling you wouldn’t be too impressed. And I’m certain that, for many of you, you would be embarrassed if you had to divulge your most secretive, pervasive and incessant thoughts to me.
I know this, because we’re human. And we all suffer from something similar as humans, and that’s the battle between our authentic self and constructed self, and how that impacts our self-worth.
When the latter dominates, we feel real pain because our authentic self is cast aside. We become out of alignment.
So how does it work?
I’ll use myself as an example - Like a television playing static, white noise, I have a handful of lies that I tell myself that float around in the background, ruling the show. I’m their puppet in a rather boring and predictable spectacle. The show has been constructed to suit not my needs, but the needs of others who I feel need to be impressed or proven to.
Now, you’re in luck today because I managed to get hold of this' show’s script, so you can get special VIP access into my internal dialogue. There are no punchlines, cliffhangers or plot twists, but it’s real, raw and maybe you’ll find it relatable.
[ clears the throat. Take #1 ]
“You’re fat. Life is better when you’re thin.”
“You’ll never succeed at anything.”
“You’re not interesting, creative or smart enough.”
“You’ll never be interesting, creative or smart enough because you don’t prioritise the things that will make you interesting, creative or smart.”
“If you don’t watch out, you will let go and get out of control.”
“If you don’t keep busy, you are not achieving or being productive. Stop being lazy.”
“If you don’t meet people's expectations of perfection, you are not good enough.”
“You’re not good enough.”
Now, I’ve come to realise that this script is a set of limiting beliefs that are all lies. I know this, because when I allow my authentic voice to step onto center stage, I am able to debunk them.
For example, take the first rather poetic line of “You’re fat. Life is better when you’re thin.” This is a lie. I am not fat, overweight or clinically obese. I am healthy and strong. And life would be not be better if I was thin, because when I was deep in my eating disorder and severely underweight, I was moody, unhappy, unsociable and obsessive.
What about “You’ll never succeed at anything”? Has a nice ring to it, right? This is definitely the opening line of the show. Again though, this is a lie (surprise - a plot twist!). My achievements are continuous and relative to where I am at. All of my successes have led me to where I am today. And where I am today is something I am proud of. I expect to do more too over my whole lifetime so there are many more successes to come (look - I’ve left you with a cliffhanger!).
The punchline of it all is that whoever is running the feature show up there (call it Universe, God or whatever) is laughing down at us, saying that we have One Night Only to make it count. Our lifetime is a little blimp in all of this greater existence, so there is no time to live backstage, rehearsing and perfecting for the moments that never come.
If you’re bored of the dialogue, change it. If you’re over your supporting cast, find better support.
Why not live in the limelight and be the star of your reality (with an epic soundtrack included).