Fear Tactics For Eating Disorder Recovery Do Not Work
Eating disorders are born out of trauma.
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They are strategies of defensive action, meaning that they try to bring a sense of protection, control and holding due to unmetabolized emotions, memories and actions associated with the trauma. As such, the body is already in a state of fear - so rather than adding more fear in treatment, let us bring compassion and gentleness to the recovery process.
What this means is that when we are in recovery, it is not helpful to say “this eating disorder is going to kill you” or “you need to try harder.” The nervous system is already in so much fear and in a place of shame, and by trying to force an individual out of an eating disorder through fear tactics simply doesn’t work.
We don’t need to add more fear to the system that is already in a state of fear, and that was in fear before the eating disorder even developed.
We need a compassionate approach. And we need a compassionate approach to bring in safety and containment because a scared nervous system cannot support nourishment when it’s in fear.
In order to eat intuitively, we need a regulated nervous system and a felt sense of safety. If we don’t feel safe, it is hard to eat and hard for the body to digest.
If we aren’t feeling safe, the body is biologically not prepared to eat - it is prepared for danger. And when the body is geared to keep danger and threat away, the body places less focus on digestion, increasing the chances of constipation or IBS - and if we experience digestive issues, it not only feels physically uncomfortable, but we also don’t feel great emotionally either.
So we need safety to digest our food, and we digest properly when we feel safe. That’s why when we feel safe, our digestion works pretty well. The nervous system is in balance, alignment, and inner harmony.
When we feel safe, this also opens the capacity to tune into our desires around food that stem from a grounded place rather than from a place of fear.
We can eat more intuitively, accurately assess our hunger and fullness cues, and determine what we are hungry for.
I understand how natural it is to feel the fear in this context - especially when there are very real risks that come from eating disorders, like malnourishment, organ failure and death. If possible, see where there are moments where you can bring in the energy compassion, a human to human meeting.
Indeed, an eating disorder often represents a young inner child who has been wounded and who is scared. As such, how we approach eating disorders require a lot of gentleness, kindness and holding.
A compassionate approach to recovery